You have to imagine a delightful warm sunny day, then we can get on with lunch....

The trip to Mackerel took about twenty minutes and by the time the taxi arrived outside Mal de Mer, the driver was hugely relieved to deposit his rather overly-fragrant fare. Manicured bay trees in pots delineated the alfresco eating area where some of the lunch party had already gathered. Diamonds and topaz glittered on fingers, chilled white wine shimmered in elegant glasses, fingernails and freshly coiffed hair gleamed, and genteel laughter mingled with a cacophony of scent in the warm, still air which fairly crackled with sideways glances from behind expensive sunglasses as outfits and accessories were silently appraised. Just as Sonia was oblivious to her sturdy legs and generous hips, so was she oblivious to the reaction of some of the assembled ladies upon her arrival. She pushed her Trent Cabernet demi-shade sunglasses carefully onto her head.
“Lucinda, Verity - how lovely to see you, how are you, darlings,” she gushed. “Oh and Petronella, Melanie - I love your handbag. Is it Agar? I keep meaning to replace mine. Perhaps I’ll go up to town later this week - I’ve seen a Tabitha Weinstock suit to die for, I think it was in Silk Scarf Trends, or was it Fashion Chic? Anyhow, I thought I’d pay her a visit.”
“Sonia, good to see you. Tell me, what is your scent - it’s so - aromatic,” breathed Simone Dawlish, as they air-kissed.
“A Day in the Life, you know, SKB’s latest fragrance. Trevor bought it for me at the airport when he came back from Singapore - we may be doing a six month stint out there while he establishes a marketing presence for the company. Only trouble is, it will be so hot, but we would of course be fully air conditioned and I believe it’s a very civilized life. Do excuse me while I get a drink....” Looks were exchanged as Sonia went inside.
“That must be six months’ worth she’s wearing today!” said Melanie unkindly.
“Large gin and tonic please,” Sonia requested of the barman.
“Ice and a slice?”
“Oh yes please. In fact, make it a very large gin would you?” Now that her eyes had become accustomed to the cool, dim interior where ceiling fans rythmically stirred the air, Sonia began to appreciate what a very fine visage the barman had, with unusual grey eyes and even, white teeth which he displayed to devastating effect when he smiled. She appreciated also his well muscled forearms revealed by his rolled up shirt -sleeves.
“You must be very busy - this place is so popular, Steven,” (she read the name badge pinned to the lapel of his exotic-looking waistcoat) “- and I believe you had a very good write up from Ezekiel Trout in last week’s supplement.” Sonia leant onto the bar in order to emphasise her cleavage, amongst which was suspended a diamond pendant on a fine gold chain.
“Indeed we did - and the quality of our cellar was highlighted in the article. Ah, and here’s the author of our success - Charles....” As he sauntered from the doorway behind the bar, unseen by Sonia, Charles affectionately ran his hand across Steven’s tightly-clad buttocks.
“Hi, Charles - Sonia, Sonia Fanshawe.” She extended her manicured hand, her wrist encircled by a heavy gold bangle, another gift from Trevor following a visit to Dubai earlier in the year.
“Delighted, is Steven attending to you?”
“He certainly is - would you care to join me?”
“That’s good of you, but I’m off to visit one of my specialist suppliers now. Can I leave it all to you, Steven?” (The specialist supplier to which Charles referred was in fact not entirely relevant to his catering operation, but this was something of which Sonia really didn’t need to be aware.)
“Sure can, boss.”

Sonia reluctantly left the bar and returned outside to join her fellow luncheon guests and Steven observed her exit with a wry smile. She had to replace her sunglasses as she emerged into the sunlight and was unable to execute the manoeuvre quite as smoothly as she would have liked - her hair had caught in one of the ornate hinges, and whilst concentrating on trying to release it before being observed, she tripped on the threshold, spilling some of her drink as she did so. A dark stain appeared on the violet silk, but she took comfort in the fact that it would soon dry in the warm air and tried very hard to compose herself, dabbing the damp patch with a tissue, before joining the twittering throng, hoping that nobody had been watching her.
“It was simply awful, I mean just how can you get chewing gum out of mink?” whined Penelope D’Arville. “Oh hello Sonia, how lovely to see you. You’re looking well - I love your bangle.”
“Penny - how nice to see you. You must give me the name of your colourist - your hair looks stunning and makes you look so much younger!”
“Why thank you, how kind. I decided to give Anthony Furnival-Pirouette a try. There was a feature on him in a recent Sunday supplement and I thought ‘Why not!’ - time to make a radical change to my wardrobe and my hair! I called in to the Hermione Shrubfest studio while I was in town and her collection really is most inventive. Picked up a couple of lovely tops, but had to buy some slacks as they’re not really the sort of thing you could wear with a skirt. Trouble is, when you start along those lines, you end up buying far more than you meant. My titanium card took a severe thrashing and when I got home Henry was a bit miffed and did suggest I might thin out my wardrobe, and he didn’t even notice my hair. Men - they simply have no idea!” There was a general murmur of agreement.

All members of the lunch party were now assembled (with the exception of Jocasta Bentwood who was indisposed after a bibulous evening in the library at the Old Rectory with Lord Pith-Witherstock and his housekeeper) and took their seats at the tables which were laid out with crisp white table cloths, beautifully folded napkins, elegant glasses, designer cutlery and a single white rose in a glass tube at the centre of each table. Brenda and Michelle were their waitresses; Brenda glowered and Michelle simpered. Steven attended to the drinks orders and manoeuvred deftly between the lunching ladies, receiving many admiring glances as he did so; Steven smiled a lot.

Sonia’s taxi arrived to collect her at four o’clock and she was not looking quite as fresh as she had earlier. There was a suggestion of dark rings below her eyes where her mascara had migrated a little in the heat and her lips were looking unfashionably pallid where her lipstick had not recently been replenished. What a blessing that she had used Tivoli’s Total Supra-Guard Extra Protection Anti-Perspirant with extracts of sphagnum moss and elder berries.

So now you've met the ladies who lunch. Back to matters in Hake on Spinach tomorrow.