Picture if you will a grand old house dating back to Elizabeth I's time, occupied currently by Isobel and Nigel Lamington-Krill, the wealthy inhabitants of Hake Hall, where this saga begins. Now read on ...
Isobel gazed with some concern at her nails and felt it was time for a visit to her manicurist, Mandy. On her right hand the thumbnail was horribly split, her index fingernail was terribly truncated and the remainder of her nails were suffering from varying degrees of downright disrepair. The major damage came about as a result of an accident with the coffee grinder after one too many gin and tonics prior to the arrival of her cocktail party guests.
Rupert Urquart had consumed rather too much of Isobel’s special punch and it suddenly seemed very funny to him to attempt to insert the vol au vent into her cleavage. The manoeuvre was inexpertly executed and resulted in a messy and mildly embarrassing scene, although everybody laughed uproariously, and Nigel Lamington-Krill, her husband, having landed a blow squarely upon Rupert’s nose, thought no more of the incident. Upon recalling the scene, she remembered that all traces of blood would have to be removed too, or maybe it would be easier just to launder the garment herself and pass it to the local charity shop or give it to her housekeeper, Mrs Tremble, and be shot of the thing. After all, the fashion editor of Silk Scarf Trends and Country Interiors with Hounds had indicated in recent issues that short but unstructured was out and that the season’s colour scheme would be dominated by burnt umber and ultramarine, so maybe her unstructured cerise silk lace creation with exquisite detailing at the knees and shoulder straps could now be dispensed with, although the thought of Mrs Tremble’s ample frame in this diaphanous garment was mildly alarming. No, perhaps the local aggrieved country folks’ charity shop was the favoured recipient.
Whilst Isobel sat reflecting upon the week-end’s events at Hake Hall Mrs Tremble was labouring over a particularly stubborn stain on the cream shag pile carpet in the en suite bathroom to one of the guest rooms in the east wing. As she sprayed, sponged and rinsed the carpet, her eye alighted upon a used prophylactic blocking the shower drain and she cursed the outrageous behaviour of the week-end guests, and wondered whether she would have time to take her ailing Dachshund to the local veterinary practice before joining the Hake on Spinach Ladies’ Darts Team. This evening they would be taking on the formidable ladies from neighbouring Halibut under Endive and she needed to be on peak form. The match would be taking place at the Raddled Beanpole where, as fate would have it, Rupert Urquart’s cousin Jolyon, considered to be the black sheep of the family, would be drinking heavily that evening.
This is just the beginning. You still have to meet the residents of Lamprey Manse, the members of the Leek over Partridge hunt, ladies lunching at the Mal de Mer and many more characters who contribute to county life one way and another. Hope you'll come back and see how things are developing.